My Weekend...

My weekend has consisted of the following:

• A trip to the casino and late night visit to Tee Jaye's country place restaurant. 
• Homework.
• Putting up our Christmas tree. (after taking down Halloween decorations).
• And starting to write the first half of my thesis/research proposal

Here, let me bore you with my introductory paragraph to my thesis :-)

 

                 The parent-child relationship is perhaps the most important, influential factor in a child’s development. Within the psychological profession, it is well known that parent behaviors and parenting style influence children’s social, emotional, and physical development. While much research has been done on the many facets of this influence, this study focuses on the parenting styles of older, career-focused parents. As our society continues to advance in many ways, the age at which adults choose to have children has changed, based on a variety of factors. To put it simply, more and more adults (and subsequently married couples) are waiting until they are older to have children. Where once people were starting their families during their 20’s, now the trend is for parents to wait until their mid 30’s to have their first child (Roberts, 1987). The following synthesis seeks to explore the pros and cons of adults waiting until they are older to have children. The importance of secure attachments, as well as the influences of parent age, education and career on child development are explored in order to build a base for the proposed study. 

Cat Calls - No, I don't have to be OK with it....

So with all of the body love posts, and the anti-breast bullying posts, I've had this kind of topic on my mind for a while. I experienced breast bullying a lot when I was growing up. Nothing entirely too hateful, but enough people made comments about the size for me to feel ashamed of the size of my breasts.

Fast forward to Halloween this year. For any of my Facebook fans, you've seen the pictures that I have posted from Saturday night when my husband and I dressed up and went out. I was a pirate wench, and he was my scurvy pirate dog :-D

Costume: "Vixen Pirate Wench" by Leg Avenue, size 3X-4X. Under garments include: Curvy Kate Emily bra, my own pantaloons, and SPANX tight-end high waisted opaque black tights (FTW love these tights).

As the night went on, and many drinks were had.....this is how I looked:

[caption id="attachment_458" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Beginning of the night; my bra is totally showing....[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_459" align="aligncenter" width="225"] OMG Boobs! I actually kind of love the volume in my breasts here[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_460" align="aligncenter" width="225"] And ended with me wearing my husband's pirate wig, a sloppy smile, and lots of boobs.[/caption]

There was quite a lot of feedback about a status I posted on my page, and there was a comment given that is one I have heard before: you have big boobs, you need to have confidence to go with it because people are going to say negative/positive things. That comment really bothered me, as it's not something that's new to my ears, and I think that it can really be viewed as hurtful.

I've thought about that comment, and thought about the reactions that I got from folks at the bar. Within 5 seconds of walking into the bar, a woman came up to me and said "OMG! Your boobs are huge! Can I motorboat you?" Me: "No, thanks...", Her: "Can my husband look at your boobs? He's totally a boobs guy!" Me: *walks away*

Ten minutes later, the owner of the bar comes over to talk to a friend of ours and says "Oh hi, boobs."

Admittedly, I "broke the seal" way too early into the evening, so I kept making multiple trips to the restroom (side note: wearing high-waisted tights with every intention of drinking = bad idea). At one point, I came out of the bathroom and passed two young guys. As I was walking away from them, they said to each other "OMG! Did you see her! Her tits are huge!". As my palm itched to turn around and slap them, I just kept walking and sat back down by my husband.

Let's not add in the fact that there was a guy standing maybe 5 feet away from our table that stared at my chest all night long, and when I got up to sing (clearly, the only way to celebrate Halloween is by going to Karaoke :-D ), he would grunt and make awkward noises towards me. Old Elvis also stared me down awkwardly...

[caption id="attachment_462" align="aligncenter" width="225"] He sang "Love Me Tender"[/caption]

I tried to let the comments just kind of slide off my skin. And I was cool with it. Obviously, I wore something revealing, and my boobs are not tiny (something another girl talked with me about in the bathroom - she sympathized, being a HH and all - commiseration was nice). However, what got under my skin was the notion that because I have big boobs, I have to be okay with it.

Why do I have to be okay with it? Why do I have to be okay with men/women degrading me into a sex object? Why do I have to be okay with disrespectful comments? As someone else said on my FB page, when you see someone in a dress that has small boobs, you don't go up to them and say "wow! your boobs are tiny! it's too bad they don't fill out that dress! you would look so much better with bigger boobs!".

So, if we don't say that to people who aren't as endowed, then why is it okay to make comments like this to women who ARE full busted? It's a double standard, and a wrong one at that.

Yes, it takes a lot of confidence to be comfortable with your body when you are full busted. But that confidence should not come at the price of having to listen to negative and snarky comments from other people. Confidence doesn't make it okay. For me, it comes down to respect. Respect for other people's bodies.

Now I know that I wasn't at the bar to make friends or necessarily share my personality, my thoughts, my ideals....but at the end of the day, I - like many other people - want to be seen for who I am on the inside, versus the large sweater puppies I have on my chest. I don't know that that's too much to ask.

No, I don't have to be okay with cat calls and remarks about my breast size. Kind of like sexual harassment is all about perspective - not intentions - to me, I felt as though I was being breast bullied. And that's not okay. 

***Have you ever had a similar experience based on something that you wore in public? How did it make you feel? What did you do about it? Let me know in the comments below***

Where are you, Busty Ladies???

A topic that came up on Miss Underpinnings blog has really hit home for me....

Being a part of the bra blogging community is wonderful, but when you're not physically close to other bloggers, it's hard to stay connected. So many of the FABULOUS blogs I read are either based in the UK, or are located in states that are quite far away from Ohio. The most exciting thing that has happened to me was meeting Suzanne from Eveden (which was really quite exciting). I would love to meet other busty ladies in person!

Anyways, if you're from Ohio (or even close by PA, Indy, or maybe even Kentucky), shoot me a message! I would love to meet you and talk about boobs, bras, and a good fit :-)

 

Ambition is Bigger Than Time....

More and more, I keep thinking this is what I want to do. I want to own a lingerie boutique. I want to fit women and change their lives!

I also want to own a bakery. And a restaurant. And a craft store.

I have the tendency to start many, many projects and then have myself spread thin. Like right now? I work full time, I'm finishing up my master's, we got another dog in August (yikes, potty and puppy training), I have a very successful Etsy wedding favors store, we're working on starting a handmade soap business, and I have all those buckeyes to drill holes into and make into necklaces and wreaths, etc. We're also listing our condo for sale in the Spring to move closer to my family (2 hours away). Oh, did I mention that I'm an avid crocheter? I'm actively looking for a teaching job that I can start up after graduation, too. Yesterday, my husband and I started working on our massive combined family trees (with my Dad's side of the family's lineage dating all the way back to 1700's Germany...).....The # of pots we have our hands in right now is insane.

But, as I was sitting and talking to my uncle's sister on Saturday, telling her about bras and fit and the brands I love for a half hour - poor girl, I chat her ear off - I kept thinking "This is what I want to do!". But I've thought that about so many of my other projects. And yes, somehow, the schedule always works out, and I am able to get everything done. But how would I start a lingerie boutique?

I wish I was the kind of person that could choose one thing to be passionate about and devote all of my time towards that one thing. There are pros and cons to being the way I am (see: unfocused), and sometimes I only see the pros and others just the cons. Admittedly, I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Just kind of stream of consciousness.

In other news, I'm hosting my first bra fit workshop in a couple weeks! I am aching to share what I have learned and what I know with the women in my life, so I'm inviting a group of ladies over to my house to talk about bras, how they should fit, and how they can help their friends and family, too. Obviously, I have nothing to sell except for the big message: every woman should know how a bra is supposed to fit her, that way she can make an informed decision when she is out shopping, or when she is fit by someone in a store (i.e. Victoria's Secret, Lane Bryant, etc...).

I guess in a way, this is my contribution to the people in my life. I can't actually start a lingerie boutique right now, but at least I can help to educate other women :-)

And now, I have probably spent enough time distracting myself from my thesis...

Happy Monday!

 

Survey Says....Let's have a giveaway!!

Last week, I posted a couple polls for readers to answer.

The first poll was "How often do you wear your bra before washing it?"

• 6 people said 1 day


• 13 people said 2-3 days


• 16 people said 4+ days

The second poll was "How do you wash your bras?"

• 13 people said By hand, in the sink or the bath tub without lingerie wash


• 12 people said By hand, in the sink or bath tub with lingerie wash


• 6 people said In a lingerie wash bag, in the washer, with lingerie wash


• 14 people said In a lingerie wash bag, in the washer, with regular laundry detergent


• 5 people said In the washing machine, not in a bag and with regular laundry detergent

I am infinitely curious about these results. Did the women who responded to the first poll also respond to the second poll? Admittedly, the psychologist in me wants to know if there is a connection between how many times women wear their bras before washing and how they wash their bras.

Obviously, the most popular answers indicate more frequent wear, and the use of a wash bag with laundry detergent.

So, starting today, I am hosting my first giveaway! The prizes are supplied by me because this is really just to satisfy my own curiosity. 

Prizes are as follows:

• 1 mesh lingerie wash bag


• 1, 32 oz bottle of either Lavender or Unscented Lingerie Wash

1-2 winners will be chosen, based on the number of entrants

Contest starts today and ends Monday (10/8). 

Click here to ENTER

(no, WordPress does not like Raffle Copter. Yes, I created a free web page just to host it).

Saying Goodbye to Loved Bras

Now, I'm not saying that I have been having a love affair with some of my bras....but the reality is that, well, I kind of have.

Over the past month or so I have lost about 10 pounds, and my size has definitely changed a bit. What I'm finding is that I am really in need of bras in a size 38J or 38JJ. My 40's are not feeling snug, my shoulders are hurting again, and my back keeps cracking in weird ways.

The long and short of it is that I love the look and style of my Curvy Kate bras, but other than the Emily, I cannot stand to wear them. The Portia that I got (40J) I wore once on August 8th and have not touched the bra since. My breast tissue is definitely migrating back into the right spot, and this bra just does not fit in the cup anymore.  The Angel that I got (40JJ) I have also only worn once and it continues to sit in the closet. My compulsive need to immediately pop tags off of bras when I get them new is part of the reason I am stuck with the Angel.

I LOVE the Angel bra. It is so gorgeous. I love everything about it. But the lift and shape is so off for me. The reality, I think, is that Curvy Kate is not the brand for me right now. I think this means that I am swearing off Curvy Kate - at least for a while. Many others have noted that the styles don't scale well into larger cup sizes, and I would have to agree. Perhaps if my breasts get smaller as I lose weight, Curvy Kate may be a viable option for me again. If you see another CK review from me in the next 4-6 months, slap my hands!!!

To remedy this situation, in the past couple days I have been uploading pictures to eBay to offload my ill fitting, and unworn bras. I've had pretty good success so far, and hopefully will have a decent amount of cash to put towards better fitting bras that won't hang out in the closet. It breaks my heart to sell these bras, but I know that it doesn't make sense to keep them in my closet unworn.

 

**How do you know when it's time to step away? How long do you let a bra sit in your closet before you decide it's time to let go? Let me know in the comments below**

Size Misconceptions at Victoria's Secret

I've never been one to shop at Victoria's Secret for a handful of reasons. My boobs are too big for their bras, and I have always been plus sized (wearing typically a size 22 or larger in pants). Admittedly, in American culture, there's such a stress on being able to shop at VS. I've always felt like I was missing out on something, or that maybe I was less of a woman because I could not shop at VS because of my size. I mean, c'mon....the place OOOZES sexiness. Who doesn't want a piece of that?

Anyways, a few years ago I had heard that the VS Pink lounge pants ran fairly big. It was something I brushed off, thinking "They can't possibly run as big as I need them to..."

A couple weeks ago, I double checked the sizing chart on the VS website for their Campus Lounge Pants to see if I really could measure up and try the pants out that every woman who tries them raves about.

 

[caption id="attachment_361" align="aligncenter" width="222"] Photo from Victoria's Secret.com[/caption]

 

Size chart from VS website for campus pants:

Size	XS0	XS2	S4	S6	M8	M10	L12	L14	XL16
Bust (in.)	32.5	33	34.5	35.5	36.5	37.5	39	40.5	42.5
Waist (in.)	24	25	26	27	28	29	30.5	32	34
Hip (in.)	34.5	35.5	36.5	37.5	38.5	39.5	41	42.5	44.5
Thigh (in.)	20.5	21	21.5	22	22.5	23	24	25	26.5

 

So, the last time I checked...my under bust measures 53"", my waist 40", my hips 48", and my thighs about 27". Based on this chart, it does not appear as though I could really even smash myself into a VS XL. Which is fine; I wear 20's in pants, and even up to a 24 in some brands. But, I thought....why the heck not?

On Wednesday when I met with Suzanne from Eveden, my husband and I decided to do some shopping afterwards (we WERE by the mall after all...), and I wanted to stop into VS to try the pants on. I could complain for hours about the terrible service that I received, but let me sum it up in a couple sentences: We were completely ignored when we walked into the store - no hello, no nothing. I walked by a group of four women talking and they did not acknowledge me. Never having shopped in a VS before, it took me a while to find what I was looking for. Granted, they do not have XLs in the store (at least not in lounge pants) so I started to feel even more out of place. I grabbed the campus pants in a large and figured I would try them on. To get to the fitting room, I had to walk from "PINK" through the beauty and makeup section to the actual bra shop. In beauty, there was an associate trying on lipstick. In the bra area? Four women standing in a circle laughing. I asked for a fitting room and got some rude looks as I was led back to try the pants on. I put them on and VOILA! A large fit my plus-sized, big belly body. When I walked out to show them to my husband, a handful of associates turned around with shock on their faces that the pants actually fit me.

Had it not been for the insane comfort of the pants, I would have walked out without buying anything. But I decided that my own desire to have comfy sweats this winter was more important than being snubbed by rude sales associates.

Okay, I said I wouldn't complain.....but....I was so appalled by how I was treated in that store.

But I digress....

It's possible that there ARE more options for plus sized women at VS than I originally thought. I was curious about the sizing of the campus pants the other day and held them up to a new pair of jeans that I just bought at Torrid (the same day we stopped at VS). The jeans I bought are skinny jeans - I can review them if readers are interested - in a size 24. They run small, but they are a great fit once you figure them out (on the torrid size chart, I measure into a size 20 - which fit in their boot cut jeans, but not the Sophia skinny jeans).

 

Size chart from www.Torrid.com

Torrid Sizes	Bust	Waist	Low Hip
12	39"	32"	41"
14	41"	34"	43"
16	43"	36"	45"
18	45"	38"	47"
20	47"	40"	49"
22	49"	42"	51"
24	51"	44"	53"
26	53"	46"	55"
28	55"	48"	57"

 

The waist measurement of size 24 jeans on their sizing chart is 44", but keep in mind that the skinny jeans I have run a size small (so the measurements are more related to a size 22). When I held up the  VS campus pants to these new jeans, the VS pants - not stretched - are 2" smaller - so the waist size is actually 40" instead of the 32" that they list on their sizing chart. 

Which means that a VS size Large in their campus pants will actually fit most women up to a US size 20. On top of this, I would say that there is a good 4" worth of stretch in the waist band. So realistically, it's possible that women who wear a US size 24 could wear these pants.

Now, the same cannot be said about all of VS's bottoms, i.e. panties, other styles of pants, etc. But if you're looking for a pair of the most comfortable pants you will ever own and are willing to throw down $46.50, and you happen to be plus sized....know that just because the tag says "L" does not mean that you cannot wear these pants.

Happy October and have a great Monday! :-)

 

Upcoming Reviews

I've been in the process of trying a few bras over the past week, but I've got some kinks to work out with sizing and just learning the functionality of the bras.

Expect reviews of the following bras in the next two weeks:

• Elomi Energise sports bra


• Panache Sienna balconette bra


• Panache Tango II balconette bra

 

Are there are bras that you would like to see me review for the blog? I know that there are some bras that don't get a lot of exposure in the blogosphere (specifically any Goddess bras, the Sienna, Elomi & Fantasie bras). Let me know in the comments below :-) 

 

 

To Hand Wash or Not To Hand Wash?

In more than one response to my blog The Current State of Wear  a few women talked about the pros and cons of machine washing v. hand washing bras.

Admittedly, I have never used a lingerie wash bag in the washer. I have one, but I have never used it. When I was wearing bras that didn't fit (and also cost less), I would always throw my bras in the washer - sans wash bag - and then hang them on the line to dry. I never seemed to have any problems, really. Yes, I would have wires pop out frequently....or the bras would come unhooked and would snag on each other. Sometimes wires would be bent out of shape. Okay, so yes, I had issues. Throwing bras in the washer without using a wash bag is a bad idea. I think we can all agree on that.

But are there benefits to using a washer vs. hand washing your bras?

Since I have started to spend more on bras (anywhere from $40-74), I have not been putting my bras anywhere near the washer. Oh no. They get washed by hand, with unscented lingerie wash. I fill the sink with warm water and some lingerie wash, pop some bras in - of like colors - and let them sit for a bit. Then I squish them up and down in the water, and gently rub the wires and elastics that go under the arm with my fingers. After that, I drain the water and refill the sink with non-soapy warm water. I let the bras sit again, then I squish around. Then, again, I drain the sink and I rinse each bra under the running water of the faucet. I've never had trouble getting all of the soap out of my bras. I tend to either (1) lay them flat on a dry towel to dry, or I hang them over the edge of the bath tub to drip dry. It takes anywhere from a couple of hours to overnight for my bras to dry.

I have always felt like the elastics go back to their normal shape and tension, AND my bras smell nice and clean.

But, the way that I wash my bras may not be the way that you wash your bras. I think we have to choose what works for us - whether we have time or we don't to hand wash, whether we use lingerie wash or regular detergent and so on.

**Please take the poll and comment about your washing methods, especially if they are different from mine - and even if not. I am very curious to learn how other women wash their bras :-) ***

 

[polldaddy poll=6568904]

 

Sleeping with Big Boobs

As the title might suggest, this post is NOT about snuggling up to a big set of boobs. Or maybe it is ;-)

I kid, I kid.

For those of us ladies whom are "well endowed", sleeping can sometimes be troublesome.

Lay on your back, your boobs are up to your chin, smooshing your face.

Lay on your stomach, you squish your boobs and they hurt in the morning.

Lay on your side, and they're just laying on top of each other, squishy and unsupported.

 

I read somewhere recently that laying on your back is actually "the best" for relieving pressure off your breasts and keeping them from being sweaty, etc.

But let's face it. Not all of us sleep on our back (or can because of our breast size). I, for one, tend to sleep kind of half on my stomach, half on my side. Think this position:

[caption id="attachment_310" align="aligncenter" width="297"] From http://docakilah.blogspot.com/2011/04/which-sleep-position-is-healthiest.html[/caption]

 

The website listed for the image says this about this side sleeping position:

Good for: Preventing neck and back pain, reducing acid reflux, snoring less, sleeping during pregnancy
Bad for: Your skin and your breasts
The scoop: Side-sleeping is great for overall health—it reduces snoring and keeps your spine elongated. If you suffer from acid reflux, this is the next best thing to sleeping on your back. The downside: "Sleeping on your side can cause you to get wrinkles," Dr. Glaser says. Blame all that smushing of one side of your face into the pillow.

This pose also contributes to breast sag, since your girls are dangling downward, stretching the ligaments, says Health’s Medical Editor Roshini Rajapaksa, MD.

Oh darn! Breast sag?!

WELCOME.....the BOOB PILLOW!!

No, it's nothing special. I just have a really thick and firm pillow for my head, and then I have a somewhat firm pillow that I wrap my arms around and use to separate my breasts from each other. Busts 4 Justice briefly mentions something like this, but it looks a little bit weird. I seriously cannot sleep if I do not have my boob pillow in the proper place; and if I roll over in the night to lay on my other side, the boob pillow comes with me. I've never tried a sleep bra and I'm not sure it would work. Also, underwire while sleeping sounds incredibly painful.

 

***What about you ladies? What do you use to make your breasts more comfortable when you sleep? Do you sleep on your back/stomach/side? Do you wear a sleep bra?? Post your answers in the comments below.***